War
by mooncheese1331
Summary: Santana has a ton to deal with.But the way she deals with it breaks Brittany's heart. Santana Lopez is fighting in Afghanistan.
1. Chapter 1

**I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER BRITTANA FIC! FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME OVER TUMBLR BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING FOR MY OTHER STORIES!**

"_B, I need to tell you something."_

_Silence._

"_B."_

"_Santana, what?" a sleepy Brittany asked._

"_I joined the army."_

"_WHAT?"_

"_I joined the army."_

_Silence._

"_Say something please."_

_Sobbing. _

"_Brittany..."_

"_Santana… how could you do this? You are my entire existence. My best friend. My girlfriend! God how could you be so fucking thoughtless?" _

"_Brittany it's only a desk sergeant position."_

_Brittany turned to me, her eyes glistening with tears. "You promise?"_

_I held out my pinkie. _

"_You promise?" she repeated._

"_When have I ever broken a promise?" I smiled._

That conversation ran through my mind as I tossed in the bed. That letter I got… I have never cried so hard in my life. Brittany lay next to me, and she stirred.

"Santana, what is it?"

"Brittany, I joined the army."

"Yeah, I know." She said, confused.

I thrust the letter at her. Her brow furrowed in an utter lack of understanding. I watched her expression change as she read the letter aloud.

"Dear Ms. Lopez:

I am pleased to inform you that do to your joining the army, you will be deployed to Afghanistan on the 12th of…"

"Please don't be mad." I silently begged.

She dropped the paper and burst into tears.

"Santana, how could you do this? You're deployed _tomorrow?_" she asked through broken sobs.

"Brittany… I love you so much. Please… don't be mad."

"Santana I love you too, but I am mad."

"…please don't hate me."

"Santana Lopez. I could never hate you. I love you too much. But I am mad."

"Please don't be."

"I love you so much Santana. Don't die."

I felt tears streak down my face.

"I'll try."

/

"Santana…"

I was dressed in full army gear. I was clutching my plane ticket in my left hand, and was hugging everyone that knew I was leaving.

I hugged my mom, my dad, Mr. Schue, and finally, Brittany. I gently kissed her and patted her back. I stepped back.

"I'll Skype and call whenever I can. I love you so so so much."

They were crying.

_Gate 12 is now boarding._

I hugged them all again.

_Gate 12 second call._

I backed up, wiped a few tears and headed towards the gate.

I looked back and saw several watery smiles. "I love you." I said, and headed on to the plane.

As I found my seat next to another army-clad guy, I looked out the window. I felt us speeding down the runway and we lifted into the air.

"Bye Brittany."

* * *

><p>TUMBLR- nanospeed4u<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Brittany POV**

I sat in the corner of the club, shivering. It had been a week since Santana left. I had the unicorn that Santana had gotten me held to my chest. Santana was in Afghanistan. Santana had to leave basic training. Santana wasn't prepared. Santana was in Afghanistan. Santana was on the front lines. My fiancée was in Afghanistan. Her words on the phone last night rang in my ears like the bullets she would be facing.

I closed my eyes. I heard some whispers.

"Where's Santana been?"

"Why is Brittany rocking?"

"I bet Santana did something."

"Maybe they broke up?"

"Where's Santana?" I heard Kurt ask me.

Someone, Mr. Schue probably, patted my back.

"They're gonna find out somehow anyway." He whispered. I roused and stood up.

I made my way to the center of the room.

"Where's Santana, Brittany?"

"Afghanistan." I replied emotionlessly.

You could see the thoughts running through their brains.

"Is she like, visiting family or something?" Finn asked unsurely.

"Finn. SHE JOINED THE ARMY. She's being sent to the front lines tonight." I felt tears spring to my eyes and I rushed out of the room.

I faintly heard Mr. Schue explaining to them. I just sank next to the lockers, not caring anymore.

Then I heard Finn ask the worst question ever.

"Why?"

I stormed in the room.

"LIKE YOU CARE! She left because everyone here except me, Mr. Schue, and her parents actually cared! None of you bothered to wonder why she sang that song! Landslide was because she was in love with me and no one cared! She didn't want the Landslide to bring her down, leaving me behind!"

"Brittany…" Rachel started.

"No Rachel! Do you know what she told me on the phone last night? 'I want you to tell the club that I still love them like siblings if they notice I'm gone' and 'If I die, I want them to be at my funeral, because even though they were horrible to me, I still love them!' She could be dying! Do you know what she told me once? She said that even though she pretends not to care, that if you guys ever came over, she would probably cook, even though she hates the nicknames you give her! And did you guys even notice last year that she started cutting? Did any of you notice when she stopped, then started again because her abuelita told her she is a disgrace and never wants to even see her again? And did you know that she actually listens to you? She was even willing to take in Quinn's baby, and would have if Shelby hadn't. And all of you guys… did any of you notice that at the beginning of this year she did drugs for a week? And did any of you even bother with her that she was struggling! NO! And Kurt, did you know, do you even care that she looks up to you and Blaine? She was planning on coming to you for ideas on how to come out before Finn outed her? Do you even care that even though she's forgiven you, she isn't getting into the one school she really wanted to because the admission's director is a homophobic bastard that found that damned commercial? And do you care that in her diary she was making plans to kill herself until about Christmas when she proposed because I'm the only person her age that CARES?"

I sank to the floor as the club looked at me with surprise.

"She left me because you didn't care and the only way she could get into NYU is if she did something honorable to offset the lesbian thing." I said numbly. "She could die tonight."

The club stepped away from me. Rachel ventured toward me, but I growled.

"Santana… you have no idea what was going on with her. Did you know her brother and uncle died in Iraq? Did you notice she has asthma? Did you care that she almost died thanks to an asthma attack after Valerie because she sang so hard to make us win? Do you realize that she went against her parents to stay in glee, and that I found in the last entry of her diary a note that said, 'Only people that want to die join the army.'"

Rachel stepped back, and Quinn tried to comfort me.

"It's gonna be okay." She said with uncertainty.

"No, Quinn, my fiancée is in Afghanistan fighting for me, for you, and for everyone she thinks hates her."

I got up, reached into my pocket, pulled out the ring, and slid it on. I sat back in my chair and stared ahead. I stayed like that for the rest of the day.

Tonight was going to be long.

/

I got permission to stay at the Lopez's tonight, so I headed over there. We gathered in the front room and watched Santana's home movies until we drifted off into sleep.

We woke up around six and I drove myself to school, going through the motions of study but not actually caring. I got permission to stay with the Lopez's again, so I did that.

We did the same thing that we did last night, add some tears. We drifted off to sand land a few hours later.

I woke to the sound of a knock. Santana's parents must have moved upstairs. I answered the door and saw a camouflage-clad officer standing in the doorway. He took off his hat.

"Can I come in?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Can I come in?"

I nodded, fearing the worst.

"Are you Brittany Peirce? Santana's fiancée?"

I nodded again.

He pressed a bag into my hand that contained an unsent letter, a cross necklace, a few pictures, and her ring. I shook my head. He handed me a letter from the Army.

"I'm so sorry." He said.

I shook my head again. I felt some tears roll down my cheeks.

"Can I speak with her parents?" he asked somberly.

I nodded.

I called for them, and they came running down the stairs at my tone. I followed their gaze, first to my tear-streaked face, then to the bag, then to the officer in the hallway. They burst into tears immediately.

"How?" her dad choked out.

"An explosion. Shrapnel pierced her chest as she pushed two other soldiers out of the way." He said.

"I am so sorry for your loss." He told me, and then left.

"I need to tell the club, then can I go jump in front of a train?" I asked them.

Her mother was still sobbing, and I was in shock. They nodded, but her mom stopped me. "Please… I can't lose two daughters. Don't do anything stupid." She sobbed. I nodded, a tear streaking down my cheek.

I got in my car and drove to McKinley. We had a morning glee meeting today, so I just made my way to the choir room. Since I had about a half an hour before anyone else got there, I sat at the piano and covered my face with my hands. I fumbled for the letter and opened it, breaking the seal.

"Dear Ms. Peirce:

We regret to inform you that your fiancée, Santana Lopez, was killed saving two of her fellow soldiers. She will be given a posthumous Purple Heart to commemorate her sacrifice. We are sorry for your loss."

That was it. Cold, heartless, probably a format. Took her photos and stuck them on the piano. I placed the cross around my neck, and placed her ring around my finger. I read her letter.

"Dear Brittany,

I love you so much and miss you so much. I'm camped out in a warehouse with two other guys here, but I just thought I should write. I love you, don't ever forget that.

We don't speak much here. I'm assuming you told the club. I know they don't all hate me. Just most of them. I love you so much.

Well, something's happening, so I gotta go. I'll write soon, I love you, bye!

Love forever,

Santana"

That was her last act. She died right after she wrote to me.

I put it on the piano with her photos and I sobbed into the piano.

I lost track of time until I felt footsteps shuffle into the room. Mr. Schue was actually early today.

He took notice of me and I wordlessly handed him the letter.

He crumpled next to me.

"I needed to tell them." I choked out.

I saw him move to a chair and he was weeping uncontrollably. Once the entire club was seated, I stood.

They looked at me with confusion.

I cleared my throat and wiped away my tears. "Santana has been awarded a Purple Heart, for her sacrifice." I choked out.

They looked at me curiously.

Kurt said, "That's great! When's the ceremony?"

I shook my head and started crying again. "Her sacrifice was her-her-her life." The club stared at me blankly.

"They told me this morning. She died in an explosion saving two soldiers in her squadron, both with kids. She pushed them out of the way and shrapnel got her chest. She's dead. My Santana's gone."

The club went into a state of shock. Then they started crying. I just resumed my place at the piano and started playing one of her favorite songs absently.

After a few minutes I walked down to Principal Figgins' office. I asked him to call Sue and Ms. Pillsbury. He did so, confused, but my tears convinced him.

They arrived and I spoke.

"As you know, Santana was deployed to Afghanistan." I started.

They nodded.

"Any news?" Ms. Pillsbury asked.

"She was awarded a Purple Heart for her sacrifice." I told them.

"What sacrifice?"

"Her-her-her life. She died saving two soldiers from her squadron, both had kids."

They looked at me.

I handed them her letter. They started weeping.

I stood up. "If you could tell the student body…" I trailed off and left the room.

I drove to my house, bracing myself again.

My mom saw my look and hugged me. I handed her the letter.

"Santana's dead, mom."


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up, panic rising in my chest. I looked around, realizing that it was just a dream. I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard a knock at my door.

No. Not again.

I peeked out the window and sure enough, it was military personnel. No.

I put a hand to my face and slowly opened the door.

"Are you Santana's fiancée?"

I nod.

He shifted uncomfortably. "She was in an accident. She's stable but…but…"

"What?" I asked, frightened.

"She…um… she lost her right arm and she's deaf due to the loudness of the explosion."

I put my face to my hands. He handed me a letter.

"She was helping her squadron move camp when a bomb went off. She wasn't injured in any other way, other than slight trauma and cuts."

I breathed in and out.

"May I speak to her parents about the possibility of a prosthetic arm?"

I nodded; scared my voice would betray me.

"Is she gonna come home?" I asked timidly.

"Yes." He said sympathetically.

I heard Santana's parents travel down the stairs.

Their eyes flitted from me to him.

"What happened?" Her dad asked, scared.

"Santana has been in an accident. She…she lost her right arm. We need to discuss the possibility of a prosthetic one. Also…the explosion…she's deaf."

They nodded, tears spilling over.

I dialed Quinn.

"Hey, make sure everyone's there this morning, I have news." I said my voice cracking.

She barely had time to say yes when I had hung up.

I grabbed a bagel and a to go coffee. I drove to school, fearing all the possibilities of things Santana would never be able to do again.

I parked in her usual spot and collected myself before heading into McKinley. As I walked in I noticed birds chirping, leaves rustling, the little noises Santana would never hear again.

I strode into the choir room and stood at the front until everyone arrived.

"So, Brittany, you've received news on Santana."

I nodded.

"What happened?"

"I just want you all to be quiet for a minute. Take in the silence."

"Oh my god is she-"

"Quiet. Silence. No moving whatsoever."

We stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Now imagine what life would be like without any noise at all. During those few minutes, you could still hear kids outside, birds, you name it. You had to endure a few minutes of no talking, not silence. Santana will have to endure a lifetime of complete and utter quiet due to an explosion that took her hearing and her…her…her right arm."

The club paled.

"She's okay other than that, but Santana will never hear again. She will never be able to move her right arm again. Go ahead, move your arm. Enjoy the noise, because thanks to war, she will never be able to again."

The club was still in shock.

"Do you guys realize how much music meant to her? Do you know that she will never be able to sing again, will probably transfer to that Haverbrook School for deaf kids? Do you know that she probably won't ever speak again?"

I was crying as I glanced around the room. Rachel and Quinn had a few stray tears; the rest of the club was in shock.

"She's coming home." I told them, then turned on my heel and left.

/

At her house her parents told me that she'd be transferred to Lima Regional that evening, so we could visit her. Then it was a ton of classes on sign language, which her parents and I would be taking with her.

The next morning I visited Santana.

She was asleep when I got there but woke up.

Her face morphed into a smile. I hugged her, feeling the lack of limb.

"Santana-I-just wow."

She frowned at me and pointed at her ears. She burst out crying and I enveloped her in a hug.

Santana was deaf.


	5. Chapter 5

Santana grimaced as the sign language teacher pointed to some written words on the board, then taught us how to sign them.

But she was getting good. The hard part was using only her left hand.

She hadn't sung or spoken since that day she came home. She couldn't hear anything. She didn't have a right arm.

Life was fan-fucking-tastic for her.

She decided to stay at McKinley for the time being, but would probably transfer to Haverbrook soon.

I dreaded that day.

/

Santana was sitting in the back of the choir room. Rachel was yelling at us and then we started rehearsing again. I noticed a tear trickle down Santana's broken face.

I walked over and placed an arm around her. By now we were pretty well versed in sign language, so I signed to her, "What's wrong?"

She signed back, "I can't hear Rachel. I can't hear music. I can't hear shit."

I wrapped her in a hug and signed to her, "I love you Santana."

"I love you too, Brittany. Sorry I can't hear you say it. Now get your ass back up there and dance!"

I smiled and resumed the number. The club was bewildered at the exchange, but I didn't care.

That night I got a text from Quinn.

"Can I come with you to a sign language class?"

I glanced at Santana, who was sleeping over, and showed her the text.

She nodded and went back to her phone.

"Santana says sure."

After a few moments I decided to try something.

"Santana I want you to try talking." I signed.

She nodded after a second.

"I hate not hearing." She spoke slowly. My eyes lit up.

"It's hell. I wish I had never signed up for the goddamned army."

I patted her back and signed to her, "It's okay. But this is cool, you can talk!"

She nodded, and we fell asleep.

/

Rachel was yelling again.

I noticed Santana sulking. I moved over to her and signed, "Do you want to show them your cool talking powers?"

She nodded after a moment.

"Shut up Rachel." She said suddenly. I beamed.

The club turned to her, as if they imagined it. Rachel fell silent.

Santana stood up and walked over to Rachel.

"You heard me. I can't hear you, though. You think you have it so hard. I can't freaking hear! Do you know what that's like? It's like watching a movie on mute. Have you ever done that? You're talking and yelling about this stupid competition and I'm over here, wondering when the voices in my head will stop working. I will never hear Amy Winehouse or the Beatles or The Ramones again. So shut up, Rachel."

She sat back down. I smiled.

She signed to me, "Talking's harder than signing. Done for the day."

And I could visibly see her mind shutting off as her eyes glazed over.

I stood up.

"Rachel, she's right. I want you all to come to this seminar that I'm going to. I think it'll open your eyes a little."

Santana looked at me with a question on her lips. I signed to her, "It's fine, explain later."

She nodded.

She rose and spoke again. "I can sing, too."

With this she sat back down and powered off for the day.

**Whatcha think? Lmk via Review or PM**


	6. Chapter 6

I was walking downstairs for breakfast when I heard it.

_It's a passion, and emotion, it's a fashion, Burlesque__  
><em>_It'll move you, goin' through you, so do what I do, Burlesque__  
><em>_All ladies come put your grown up, boys throw it up if you want it__  
><em>_Can you feel me, can you feel it? It's Burlesque._

I heard the heavenly voice of one Santana Lopez singing in the shower. I shuffled my feet towards the bathroom and heard her again.

_I tease 'em 'til they're on the edge__  
><em>_They screamin' more for more and more they beg__  
><em>_I know it's me they come to see__  
><em>_My pleasure brings them to their knees___

_Fasten up__  
><em>_Can you imagine what would happen if I let you close enough to touch?__  
><em>_Step into the fantasy__  
><em>_You'll never want to leave, baby let's give it to you…Why?_

I grinned and opened the door to reveal a naked, dripping wet Santana toweling off. Her eyes were shut and she was grinning slightly. I grabbed the towel from her and kissed her softly before giving it back to her.

"That was amazing." I signed.

"I know." she signed back.

I wrapped her in a hug and left to finish breakfast.

Now I was humming the tune.

_It's a passion, and emotion, it's a fashion, Burlesque__  
><em>_It'll move you, goin' through you, so do what I do, Burlesque__  
><em>_All ladies, confident, flaunt it__  
><em>_Boys throw it up if you want it__  
><em>_Can you feel me, can you feel it? It's Burlesque._

I noticed Santana behind me and I waved to her.

"Morning pretty lady." I say without thinking. She freezes.

"Say that again." she signs.

"Morning pretty lady." I repeat, confused.

"Say something else."

"I love you."

"Something else."

"Oranges."

"Again."

"Lord Tubbington's been reading my diary."

"One more time."

"I love you forever."

Her eyes lit up. I was incredibly confused.

"B." she said unsteadily.

"Yeah?" I sign.

"I-I-I love you too."

My eyes bug out of my head. How did she know that was what I had said?

"And Lord Tubbington hasn't been reading your diary that was your little sister."

I gape at her. A wide smile spreads across her face.

"You hear me?" I ask in shock.

"It's very faint, but yes." She whispers.

My eyes widen and I wrap her in a hug.

/

At Glee club everyone was screaming at eachother over the set list for Nationals. Well, most of the club was. Rachel was fighting over a solo.

Santana rose and walked to the board. Erasing what was there, she wrote silently.

"A) Brittany should get whatever you're fighting over. B) You should do a medley of 'Meteor Shower', 'Honey and The Bee' and 'Saltwater Room' by Owl City."

Everyone turned and looked at her in disbelief. Santana was smirking and I had to stifle a laugh as she signed to me, "These imbeciles don't know I can hear them?"

"You haven't told them babe." I signed back and she cracked a smile.

"I don't think I will, for now at least. I wanna, in the true spirit of Glee Club, do a musical number first." she signed back with a smile.

I actually laughed at that and nodded.

"Yeah, totally. I'll dance while you sing?"

"Play it off like you stumbled on me singing and then lead the club to the auditorium or something."

I grinned and nodded. "Totally and you can sing that inappropriate song you sang in the shower today because it will have been an 'accident' that I stumbled on you."

She grins and I smile.

/

The next day in Glee Club I walk into the Choir Room with a mega-watt smile and a jacket.

"Why are you so smiley today Britt-Britt?" Kurt asked.

"Follow me." I smiled.

They nodded, very confused, and I led them to the auditorium. Santana was singing her heart out as the band played Express by Christina Aguilera.

The club's eyes widened and I walked up to the stage.

**It's a cold and crazy world that's ragin' outside  
>Well baby me and all my girls are bringin' on the fire<br>Show a little leg, gotta shimmy your chest  
>It's a life, it's a style, it's a need, it's Burlesque<br>**

Santana continued to sing and I approached her from the side.

**E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex  
>Ladies no regrets<br>E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex  
>Ladies no regrets<br>**

I traced her neckline and she smiled at me, her eyes shut.

**Been holding down for quite some time and finally the moment's right  
>I love to make the people stare<br>They know I got that certain savoir-faire  
><strong>

"They're here." I whispered and she grinned. I strutted away from her and turned towards the band.

**Fasten up  
>Can you imagine what would happen if I let you close enough to touch?<br>Step into the fantasy  
>You'll never want to leave, baby let's give it to you…Why?<br>**

I turned back around and smirked when the club realized this was planned. I took off my jacket and tossed it to the side, revealing my one-shoulder white shirt over my light blue tank top.

**It's a passion, and emotion, it's a fashion, Burlesque  
>It'll move you, goin' through you, so do what I do, Burlesque<br>All ladies come put your grown up, boys throw it up if you want it  
>Can you feel me, can you feel it? It's Burlesque.<br>**

I smiled as Santana glanced at me and backed away from the microphone, the sheer power of her voice resounding throughout the auditorium.

**I tease 'em 'til they're on the edge  
>They screamin' more for more and more they beg<br>I know it's me they come to see  
>My pleasure brings them to their knees<br>**

Santana moved over to me and pressed on my nose with her hand.

**Fasten up  
>Can you imagine what would happen if I let you close enough to touch?<br>Step into the fantasy  
>You'll never want to leave, baby let's give it to you…Why?<br>**

She moved away from me and I grinned, following her.

**It's a passion, and emotion, it's a fashion, Burlesque  
>It'll move you, goin' through you, so do what I do, Burlesque<br>All ladies, confident, flaunt it  
>Boys throw it up if you want it<br>Can you feel me, can you feel it? It's Burlesque.  
><strong>

I smiled at her and ghosted my lips around her neck.

**It's a passion, and emotion, it's a fashion, Burlesque  
>It'll move you, goin' through you, so do what I do, Burlesque<br>All ladies come put your grown up, boys throw it up if you want it  
>Can you feel me, can you feel it? It's Burlesque.<strong>

****The band stopped playing and I smirked at her, playing with her dark hair. She smiled up at me and I started out.

"We have some news…"

"Please not another marriage." Kurt said.

"Nope. Guess."

"Santana somehow got you pregnant?"

"…no."

"You're going to college together?"

"Already doing that."

"Santana's pregnant via Brittany?"

"No."

"Can you just tell us?"

"Nope." Santana said, popping the 'P'. The glee club didn't even notice.

"Fine. Santana's running off to join a Burlesque bar?"

"God no."

"Brittany is."

"No."

"You made a sex tape?" Puck asked hopefully.

"Yes, no you cannot see it and that was not the news we were discussing."

"You moved in with each other?"

"Already living together." Santana responded.

"Ugh. Enough, we give up."

Santana turned to me and smiled.

"I love you." I whispered to her, squeezing her shoulder.

"You too." she whispers back.

Quinn was the first one to get it.

"Santana, what's your favorite thing in the world?" she asks slowly.

"Brittany kisses." she replies absently.

I smile and lean in for a kiss.

When we break apart Quinn is behind us.

"Hello." Santana says brightly.

"When were you born?"

"April 30."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Brittany's eyes."

"What am I asking you?"

"Random things."

"What's your favorite movie?"

"Burlesque because of the songs."

"How did you lose your arm?"

"Landmine."

Quinn stepped back and the entire club was confused at the exchange.

She shakily smiles at them and then in a low voice asks Santana. "How long have you been able to hear?"

"Yesterday."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I wanted to make sure it was real." Santana whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"…Santana…" Quinn said, wrapping her in a hug.

It finally snapped in place for the rest of the club and they stared in shock. Santana pulled away.

"Yes, I can hear." She said slowly. "But it's very faint and delayed. I called my doctor and he said it might return a little more, and with a hearing aid I can possibly hear fully again."

The club's mouths popped open.

I gave her a one armed hug.

"You are amazing." I breathed.

"You too."


	7. Regrets

To the reader:

It is with a heavy heart that I will say goodbye to this account. It will still be active, in case you want to read my horrible writing again. I had to sort through a lot of personal demons regarding my mental health and sexuality. Once that was done, I reread my writing here and decided two things:

a) I had a severe horrible case of writer's block.

b) my writing, for the most part, was horridly juvenile.

My new account is Captain Wednesday III. I don't know how often I will post things that you guys like, as I have fallen out of most of my old fandoms. Feel free to follow me or PM me with any questions.

Regrets,

Hannah


End file.
